


Forgiven, Not Forgotten [Armin x Bully!Reader]

by LonelyPeony



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 07:38:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4598397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyPeony/pseuds/LonelyPeony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>- Inspired by Koe no Katachi - Armin was bullied by you as a child and has suffered since. For 10 years, he hadn't seen you and had left it all behind. But when you show up again in his new-found life, everything comes back from the bygone days. What will it take for him to forgive you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ~ O n e ~

**Author's Note:**

> Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.

From the first moment you laid your eyes on Armin Arlert, you knew he was the one. Just looking at him made your stomach flip with excitement. You could never tear your sights away from his features; that blond bob was softer than your own messy [h/c] locks; those bright blue eyes were saucers compared to your bland, sharp [e/c] ones; his delicate, smooth, fair complexion made you look like an ashy old man. The two of you were just in kindergarten when you met, and he was already a genius. Miss Ral, who had the tendency to refer to her creed of not playing favorites, practically held Armin on a pedestal – well, he _was_ the shortest in class, but still! Everything was hunky-dory before he showed up in your life. You were sure of it. The second he was introduced to you, you knew you would enjoy the thrill of tearing out his hair, seeing his blue eyes well up with tears, scratching up his fragile skin, and more. Much more.  
   
From the first moment he laid his eyes on [Full Name], he knew she was definitely not the one. Just looking at her made his stomach flip with dread. He could never get himself to look at her for more than half of a millisecond; her bed-head and constant glare sent off a thug vibe; her clothes were always caked in dirt and grass stains, not to mention her knee-scrapes from rough-housing too much during recess. Soon enough, he began going home with bruises and scratches and messy hair. Each day, he would return early from recess with a bloody mouth, holding out a baby tooth to Miss Ral – to which she would say, “Another one?” and he would meekly nod. His grandfather, concerned about the daily ruined books and scraggly Armin that came home, contacted the school and had him transfer to one in a different district entirely. He absolutely hated [Name] and wondered what he had ever done to her; he tried to be nicer and nicer, but the ridicule and punches kept coming. He wanted to remove the big fat target on himself. Everything was A-OK before she showed up in his life. And for years, ever since he entered his new school district, things were better than ever! Until…  
   
“Alright, you useless freshmen. Shut your mouths. We have a new transfer student joining us today.”  
   
Armin, who had previously been listening to Eren’s rant about how his mom wouldn’t let him join the military, turned around in his seat to face the front. The girls in the classroom swooned as Mr. Ackerman entered, his tone as nonchalant as ever.  
   
“It’s the middle of the year,” Eren whispered loudly, “Who would want to transfer schools _now_?”  
   
Mikasa shushed Eren. “Quiet, Eren! Class has started.”  
   
A girl in a newly pressed uniform trailed in behind Mr. Ackerman. Her [h/c] hair was neatly brushed and fixed; her skin was smooth and seemingly flawless. She smiled nervously at her new classmates. However, the smile didn’t carry all the way up to her bored [e/c] eyes that were staring right at a certain blond.  
  
Armin studied the new student from his seat in the back. There was something about her that seemed so familiar, but he couldn’t quite name what it was. He found it creepy how she was just staring at him.  
   
“I’m [Full Name],” you introduced yourself.  
   
Armin’s inquisitive mind froze, as did his face. How could he ever forget that name…?  
   
“We’ve got some empty seats in the back. Just sit wherever,” Mr. Ackerman said, preparing the lesson for the day.  
   
Your gaze never left Armin’s, and you made your way over to the empty desk beside his. Before taking a seat, you looked at Armin, whose expression was one of complete terror and panic.  
   
“Excuse me,” you said in order to get his attention. His head slowly turned in your direction. He did whatever he could to avoid eye contact. The last thing he wanted was to be socked in the face by you again.  
   
“Is this seat taken?” Your gaze fell on something else and you rubbed your arm out of nervousness.  
   
“Huh?” Armin blinked out of his frightened state, confused. The [Name] he knew from before would just shove a person out of his seat and take it for herself.  
   
“Is it okay if I sit here?” she restated her question.  
   
“Ah, yeah, sure,” he said. _Maybe she forgot who I am_ , he thought to himself, smiling inwardly.  
   
You took a seat and thanked him with a devilish smirk. “Thanks, Armin.”  
   
Armin’s face fell back into panic mode. _SHE DOES REMEMBER ME!_  
   
About an hour passed, and you had no idea what Mr. Ackerman was droning on about. Something about a Russian Revolution… But the last thing you remember learning at your old history class was the Fall of Rome! To jump from Rome to the Russian Revolution…your mind couldn’t handle such a big leap; what happened to chronology?!  
   
As subtly as possible, you looked around at the other students. Armin was diligently taking notes.  
   
 _Typical_ , you thought.  
   
The green-eyed kid behind him was doodling some random monsters in his notes. The Asian girl beside him wasn’t even taking notes, just listening to the lecture. The horse-faced guy next to the Asian girl was just ogling at her with a creepy perverted look on his face. There was even a girl eating a baked potato towards the front and a bald kid staring off into space. Another buff, blond guy was busy trying to woo a tiny angelic girl with his biceps.  
   
 _This class is full of idiots_.  
   
You sighed and did your best to take notes even though you had no idea what was going on. Maybe eventually you’d get it.  
   
But you didn’t.  
   
Eying Armin’s organized notebook he was taking notes in, you snatched it from him while he was in midsentence.  
   
“H-Hey!” he whispered in distress. He whipped his head to the side, expecting his notebook to be ripped to shreds or marked in. But instead his eyes met with a sight that left him aghast: you were studiously flipping through the pages of his notes.  
   
 _So this is what I’ve missed… Man, it’s going to take forever to catch up_ , your mind hissed.  
   
The bell rang, signaling the end of class. You got up and gently placed the notebook back on Armin’s desk where it belonged, leaving Armin utterly confused.  
   
You walked up to Mr. Ackerman, who was preparing tea. Armin was ignoring his friends’ request to leave class with them and instead focused on your conversation with the teacher. He didn’t know why he was so interested.  
   
“Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Ackerman,” you said, causing the man to look up from his drink, “but I don’t exactly understand what’s going on in the lecture…”  
   
Armin could overhear how your old history class was way behind on the curriculum and that you wanted to know if there was any way you could possibly catch up on all that history.  
   
“Armin, come on,” Eren tugged on his friend’s arm, “I wanna get a snack before next period.”  
   
“Ah, okay!” he finally responded, packing his things.  
   
“Arlert!” Armin flinched at his name being called by the familiar masculine voice. Mr. Ackerman marched up to the blond, with you following. “Tutor this newbie in everything between the Fall of Rome and where we are now in class. She should be caught up in two weeks max.”  
   
Armin looked as if he was in the midst of a nightmare.  
   
“S-Sir, I,” the boy stuttered in protest. By no means did he intend on associating himself with you again.  
   
“That is an order. Your grade is now dependent on hers,” Mr. Ackerman pointed out. “Besides, you two seem well-suited for each other.”  
   
The poor boy succumbed to the pressure and agreed to help you catch up. _Why did you have to show up again?_  
   
You had followed Armin and his friends into the hall. In truth, you were surprised he had any friends at all. He was still the same meek kid he was a decade ago.  
   
“So you guys know each other?” Eren asked, seeing how you seemed to already know Armin.  
   
You grinned to the point that your cheeks hurt. “We sure do, huh, Armin?”  
   
Before he could get away, Armin felt himself get pulled in by your arm. Soon enough, you were giving him a noogie.  
   
“Ow! Hey!” he protested, helpless against your strength. Your fist set his skull on fire.  
   
“We’ve known each other for a looooooong time, haven’t we, Armin?”  
   
There it was again, that devilish smile. You finally let go, leaving Armin to fix his hair.  
   
“Y-Yeah…” A weak laugh escaped his lips.  
   
“That’s cool! So you’re like childhood friends!” Eren beamed like he just saw his favorite Power Ranger.  
   
“Like me and Eren,” Mikasa muttered behind her red scarf, a slight blush evident on her cheeks.  
   
Armin couldn’t help the heat rising in his face from Mikasa’s comment. He adamantly denied Eren’s assumption. Eren laughed. Just as Armin was about to deny it even more, he felt a tap on his shoulder from behind. Turning around, he was met with your hand extended toward him. And in your hand was his phone.  
   
“I put my number in your phone, so text me the plans for our lessons,” you said, sucking a lollipop.  
   
The horror on Armin’s features was too real.  
   
“How did you get my phone?!” he screeched, grabbing it from you in a hurry and putting it back in his pocket. In the background he could hear Eren laughing hysterically.  
   
“Dude! She totally pickpocketed you!”  
   
Armin always knew in his gut that you were fitted for the thug life.  
   
You laughed, alongside Eren. “You’re like the typical dweebie freshman with a big-ass backpack and innocent face! You haven’t changed a bit, Armin! Look at you: you still look like a little girl! HAHA!”  
   
The blond knew it would come back to this…the same verbal torment. And what’s worse, now his best friend was laughing with his sworn enemy. He felt his eyes stinging with hot tears. _Great, just what she wants_ , he cursed inwardly.  
   
“Once a bully, always a bully,” Armin mumbled, storming away. He didn’t want his people to make fun of him for crying. He was already used to Eren’s chastising him whenever he cried. He really didn’t need you to bring his whole world down again. He could hear Eren and Mikasa calling and chasing after him.  
   
“Armin! Wait!” Mikasa grabbed his shoulder, making him come to a halt.  
   
“Sorry, Armin, I didn’t mean to…” Eren tried apologizing after receiving an earful from Mikasa.  
   
“It’s okay.” Armin wiped his tears with his sleeve. “She… She used to bully me in kindergarten. Then I transferred to this school district. And here she is again, and now I have to tutor her. What did I do wrong in my life to deserve this?”  
   
He earned a hard look from Mikasa. “If she tries anything, I’ll take care of it.”  
   
“Thanks, Mikasa.”  
   
“I dunno,” Eren interrupted with an unsure look, “It seemed more like she wanted to be friends with you…”  
   
You were left standing there alone in the middle of a hallway packed with students. Staring at your chewed up lollipop, you decided it didn’t taste good anymore and tossed it in the trash. With a sullen gaze, you turned on your heel and walked toward your next class.  
   
 _Once a bully, always a bully, huh?_  
   
You sighed, beating yourself up inside.  
   
 _Shit, I said the wrong thing._


	2. ~ T w o ~

“Hey, Armin, this guy looks like you!”

Said boy paused in his lecture on The Hundred Years War to take a gander at what you were pointing at in the textbook. He frowned at the painting of a soldier with bobbed hair like his, with a sword in one hand and a flag with angels on another.

“That’s Joan of Arc,” Armin sighed. “A woman.”

“I can read, you idiot. You think I’m stupid?” You motioned to the caption below the famous medieval painting of Joan of Arc.

“How does she even look like me?” he asked, even though he really did not wish to know. He immediately regretted it the second his voice projected, figuring he set himself up for more ridicule.

“How long will it take you to realize that I’m calling you a girl in a round about way?” You leaned back in your wooden chair and took a sip of your frappuccino. Since a couple days ago, the two of you decided to meet at a nearby coffee shop for your extra lessons. This was your third meeting, and you were tired of speeding through history, taking each lesson like a shot. It felt like everything was just passing over your head. Though you had to hand it to Armin; the guy really knew his stuff. It was quite impressive how much he had retained on the subject.

“You know,” you said, “I think you’d make a great teacher.”

Armin looked at you with surprise written on his face. Did he really just get a compliment from you, the one person who seems to highlight all of his flaws?

“I mean, I’m not really learning much, but that’s just my fault. You know a lot, so it’s kind of amazing and I keep on wondering how big your brain is.” You took another sip of your frap, like what you just said was no big deal.

Your tutor blinked his big blue eyes that reminded you of the sky and its vastness. Maybe those eyes also contained a vast knowledge. You stared right into them like an innocent child.

“Th-Thanks.” He found it hard not to blush. For some reason, your eyes looked a lot prettier than usual… Maybe it’s the lighting, he thought, trying to rationalize the situation.

“But then again,” you started.

Oh no, stop [Name], stop! Just shut your stupid mouth! Your mind screamed in alarm.

“No one will know for sure if you’re a man or woman, so you might end up getting stripped down in order for them to really know, and that would start rumors at school and your students wouldn’t respect you anymore, and a male student of yours who thought you were a hot woman might go and commit suicide.” You sat there in contempt.

Armin’s eyebrows furrowed, creasing the perfect skin upon his brow. His cheeks grew rosy in anger and embarrassment.

Crap. He’s mad! You need to learn to shut the hell up, [Name], you mentally cursed.

“You know what?” his voice shook. You inhaled sharply and flinched at his wavering tone. “I just remembered: Eren wanted me to help him with his math homework, so I need to end our lesson for the day.”

He quickly packed his things and sped out the door before you could utter a word. Your elbows banged on the sturdy table, turning them red. Fingers ran through your hair, and your nails dug into your scalp, gripping your hair as if to rip it out.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid! You’re disgusting!” you hissed to yourself. “This isn’t the reason why you transferred!”

You knew you had to be nicer to the boy. After all, you did transfer to his school because you knew he would be there. Regret and guilt ate away at you for the past few years. You promised yourself that you would find him and apologize and maybe even become friends with him. So why is it so hard to be honest with him? He was helping you catch up, even though he probably hates you. Why couldn’t you just be nice for once?

Things weren’t so rosy for you after he left your class ten years ago; it’s not as you had expected it to be. He never told on you like you thought he would. You never got in trouble for knocking his teeth out every day, for pushing him down the stairs, for tripping him on the playground, for destroying his precious books…

No, instead you had to live with hell throughout elementary school and middle school. You had to go through what Armin went through for that long. You became the target for reasons unknown. But you endured it because you were strong. Or so you thought. But the one day you snapped was your last day at your old school. And then you had to transfer. In reality, you were just weak for not standing up to those bullies. But then again, what could you have done? You deserved it, all that pain; it was just punishment for what you did to Armin years before.

You promised to make it up to him. But what could you possibly do that would make up for everything you’ve done?

During lunch the next day, you went to the spot under a giant tree where Armin and his friends usually hang out. Luckily no one else was there except for the blond. You approached with a cold bottle of strawberry Italian soda, remembering that it was his favorite drink in kindergarten.

The boy was reading Great Expectations. He looked so pensive and at peace, you nearly backed out from talking to him.

You approached, the grass giving way to your every step.

“Um, Armin?” you hesitated, clearing your throat. Startled, said boy looked up from his book and got to his feet, taking a few steps back against the tree. He made sure to keep his guard up. After all, he did walk out on you the other day… But no! That’s not the point. I have to tell her that enough is enough!

He kept his eyes on her, watching her every move.

“Great Expectations?” you said, trying to get him to relax. “Classic. I didn’t really like Pip that much, though. He’s a wimp. I liked Estella more.”

Armin didn’t respond. He continued to watch her with weary eyes. Instinctively, he hugged his book even closer to his chest.

“Relax,” you reasoned, “I’m not going to take your book or draw all over it.”

“Pip isn’t weak,” he muttered. “He’s strong. Estella’s the weak one. She’s mean and cruel.”

A cynical chuckle escaped your lips as your eyes fell downcast. “Ah, so she is…”

“She thinks she’s so much better than Pip, but the reality is: she’s lower than he is. Much lower. She’s not even the daughter of a commoner of good standing,” Armin continued.

“That’s right,” you whispered sadly.

“What is it?” he finally asked.

You stuttered, “O-Oh…well, um…I just wanted to apologize for…yesterday. And for everything I’ve done to you in the past.”

Armin’s dark gaze fell to the cool, dying grass at his feet.

“I know I was a real jerk, and I still am. But I regret everything I did to you. I really do!” you pleaded for his forgiveness.

“Are you really?” He met her eyes with his now fierce ones. “I bet you were expelled from your old school because you got caught for bullying some other kids. And now you’ve come back to say sorry? You’re only sorry you got caught.”

Every word stabbed your heart.

Am I just sorry I got caught? No…I don’t think I am…

“I really am sorry, Armin!” you said, desperation evident in your [e/c] eyes. “Even if you don’t forgive me, I understand… But I want you to believe me, that I really am sorry.”

“You don’t understand a damn thing!” His voice rose, fueled by his ire. He spat, “Every day was a living hell for me. I wanted to die. You teased me, you made fun of me, you got everyone to play pranks on me. You ripped out my hair, you twisted my arms, you wrote nasty things in my books. You knocked out my teeth everyday; the dentist thought there was something wrong with me! You ruined my books – the books my grandpa gave me for my last birthday he would be alive for! I still have scars from those days all over my body, if not in my memories. And it didn’t stop after that! I have worked ever since to boost up my self-esteem and not be afraid of people. I finally got myself to forget about you... But you just had to show up again and make me relive the past! So you can save your apology for one of your other victims who actually wants to hear it!”

Worked up, Armin left with his book, walking right past you. His lunch was still sitting in a sack on the ground.

Eren and Mikasa approached from the side, having witnessed the whole thing. In fact, the whole quad had heard the fiasco.

Feeling your hand go numb, you realized that you were still holding the Italian soda you got for Armin, its ice cold sweat drenching your palm.

You handed it to Eren. “Give this to Armin if you see him. I, uh, didn’t get a chance to.”

“O-Okay.” Eren watched your retreating form. Looking down at the drink, he blinked. “Strawberry’s his favorite…how did she know?”

You didn’t even try to stop him. How could you? Everything he said was right; you were the reason for his suffering. You couldn’t blame him for the way he exploded at you. Your apology didn’t work at all. But what were you expecting? Did you really think he would run into your arms and weep tears of happiness and accept you wholeheartedly? You deserved every ounce of this punishment. But you weren’t going down without a fight. You wouldn’t accept a depressing outcome like this. No, you were going to do whatever it took to get his heart to accept you – the horribly flawed girl.

Ignoring the whispers and inquisitive stares, you moved on and headed for a bookstore. This wouldn’t be your first time skipping school. Your attendance and education could wait; right now, all that mattered was Armin. And you were determined to restore whatever happiness you stole from him.


	3. ~ T h r e e ~

You received odd glances from older folk as you promenaded through the streets. Still in your uniform, you only hoped that you wouldn’t be caught for ditching your afternoon classes. But really, what were you missing out on? Just Literature and P.E. And, well, you were going to a bookstore, so that sort of counts towards Literature, right?  
   
There was a small antique-looking bookstore you always passed on your way to school. It looked like an independent little shop, as it was old-fashioned and unique. Hardly anyone ever entered, for reasons you didn’t know. Maybe it just wasn’t as popular as your typical Barnes & Noble, which carries practically everything _and_ sells coffee inside. But you had always preferred smaller stores, and this one looked like it might carry old vintage books covered in dust and laced with gold trimming.  
   
You read the store’s name decorated on the fine glass window: Sawny  & Bean Antique Literature. Upon opening the shop door, a bell tinkled from the hinge above. You stepped into the dimly lit haven for bookworms, marveling at the collection of old classics and out-of-print novels. The pleasant aroma of worn, used pages filled your nostrils like perfume. You didn’t even know where to begin!  
   
“Hi there! Never seen you here before. You must be a fresh face!”  
   
The voice of a woman behind the counter brought you back to earth. Her brown hair was tied up in a messy ponytail, as if she had no mirror. She wore glasses that had an interesting glint to them at that angle by the lamp. To be honest, her smile creeped you out a bit and her eyes were bulging out with excitement.  
   
You smiled politely. “This is my first time here.”  
   
“Well feel free to look around! If you have any questions, just ask me,” she said. You could hear her inhale sharply through her nose, hold her breath, and then loudly exhale. “Isn’t this smell just absolutely wonderful?”  
   
You took your time to nod, a nervous smile still etched from cheek to cheek.  
   
“You’re scaring her, Hange.” A man with light brown hair sighed, bringing Hange a stack of books. You assumed he worked there, as well.  
   
“Oh, Moblit, thanks for bringing these babies!” Hange squealed with delight, picking up the book on the top. You caught a glimpse of the spine and recognized the title: _Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea_ by Jules Verne. You chuckled a bit and began looking through the many aisles and shelves.  
   
Starting in alphabetical order, you traced your index finger along the dusty, hardcover spines until you found one of the seven books you were looking for. You picked out the rather thin book of a forest green color with gold designs and writings on its front cover. It was _Aesop’s Fables_ and there was an image of a fox and a mask below the title. This copy looked very similar to the one you destroyed ten years ago. You smiled victoriously to yourself and moved on to find the other books.  
   
As you sifted through the D section, you came across a rather old and unique edition of _Great Expectations_. That novel was one of your absolute favorites, and pretty much everything you were buying at the store was a book you had read and loved. If it hadn’t been for Armin, you probably would never have read as many books as you did. The guilt from back then had left you with a notion to change and see what he saw, especially in those books you so enjoyed reeking havoc on. It was ironic; you had grown up and matured at his expense.  
   
You had found all but one of the books you were searching for. And all of them were the same editions as the ones you ruined. The last one was the most important of them all, however…  
   
“Excuse me?” You placed all the books you had picked from the shelves onto the polished counter. As a last minute decision you decided to get _Great Expectations_.  
   
“Oooooh! You’re getting all these?” Hange grinned with her eyes wide open.  
   
You nodded. “Yes, but um… there was a book I couldn’t find. I don’t know if I missed it somewhere or if it got misplaced.”  
   
“Whatcha lookin’ for?” she asked, adding up the prices for each novel.  
   
“ _The Hobbit_ ,” you said. “From its first publication…and signed by Tolkien.”  
   
The brunette’s usual bubbly mood fell to a somber one, her lips pursed in a fine line. “I’m afraid we don’t carry that here,” she said sympathetically. “In fact, you won’t be able to find it anywhere.”  
   
A throbbing pain ripped through your chest and your heart sank at her words.  
   
“Unfortunately those were all sold out. Even the regular non-signed copies from the first publication were sold out. They only printed 1,500 of them, and they were all gone within the year it was published: 1937,” Hange explained.  
   
“Oh,” you uttered. “Oh, I see.”  
   
As you walked out of the store and onto the chilly street with your eight books, including _Great Expectations_ and a different edition of _The Hobbit_ , you could think of nothing but Armin’s distraught face from years ago. Every time you ripped a page or scribbled on another, he’d cry. Back then it was fun to inflict so much pain on him. But now? All you could see was the heartbroken face of a child, ripe with loss and trauma, his cheeks aching from weeping profusely in complete silence, as you released his most cherished book that reeked from its ancient age. Pages fluttered to the ground; one depicted part of a map, the Misty Mountains lining the middle. Behind the cloth, pale green front cover was a bunch of incoherent, multicolored, waxy scratches and doodles; and beneath it all was a note, signed by the author.  
   
You sighed in exasperation, knowing that nothing could replace that particular novel that was passed down to Armin from his grandfather. But you would still do what you could and add a little flair to your mission.  
   
Just then, you received a text from Armin. Reading its contents, you frowned:  
   
_[Name], I made a copy of all of my notes and left it at our usual table at that café. You can just study those on your own. We don’t need to meet anymore. Besides, you’re not stupid; you can read, right?_  
   
Next thing you knew, your phone was chucked into the depths of your schoolbag. Gritting your teeth and clenching your white-knuckled fists, you vowed that this wasn’t the end. You just wouldn’t let things end like this. Armin was truly a fool.  
   
The next day, the blond found himself staring down at his desk – or rather what was _on_ his desk. A book with a post-it note of his name stuck on the cover. _Aesop’s Fables_. Opening the front cover, hearing the crack of the stiff spine, his dexterous fingers traced over an embellished handwritten note: **No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted** **– Aesop**. He accepted the book from its mysterious donor with thanks. Though he had an inkling he knew who it was, Armin said nothing, for you had moved to a seat up in the front away from him. True, the boy did feel a twinge of guilt dragging at the back of his mind, but he had decided that it would be best for the both of you if he severed childhood ties.  
   
But the next day, another book lay on his otherwise empty desk, waiting for him to venture within. It was one of his favorites: _Winnie-the-Pooh_. And inside the cover was a written in quote: **Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them – A.A. Milne**. Immediately the face of his childhood bully rippled into his mind’s eye, and he set out to ponder on his own for a bit. Sure, you were rough and offensive, but so, too, were you thoughtful and dedicated. And now that he thought about it, Armin had to admit that you’ve grown to be quite pretty. But what’s on the outside isn’t nearly as beautiful as the person within.  
   
Armin had suspected a very particular pattern, and his suspicions were only proved to be correct. The following day brought him _Gulliver’s Travels_ , as he had perceived. He was nowhere near surprised to find a quote resting on the blank first page: **I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to not see them ashamed – Jonathan Swift**. It was obvious to Armin that you were indeed “wicked,” to say the least. There was no surprise there. However, to say that you weren’t ashamed (both explicitly and implicitly) was an outright lie. Weren’t these books a symbol of your shame? A way to repent for your sins against him?  
   
He wasted no time in flipping the pages of _The Little Prince_ to a bookmarked page with a depiction of a fox. Sticking out like a sore thumb in the text was a highlighted quote by the fox: **What is essential is invisible to the eye.** The more Armin reveled in his thoughts of you, the more he broke down the invisible walls that made it so hard for him to see your true colors, as beautiful and vibrant as the sunrise. And the more he looked forward to the next book and the treasure of a quote he would discover in there.  
   
You sneaked a peek towards the back of the classroom. There he was, his neat blond locks hiding behind the soft cover of _The Tale of Peter Rabbit_. By picking up that book, it was as if Armin had stepped back in time; the cerulean wonder in his big eyes scanning the pages reminded you of the sweet 5 year old. In fact, you noticed that he still had a habit of burying his face in the thick pages, completely absorbed in the fictional world. It made you smile, knowing he was still the same kid you knew years ago. And you beamed with pride, seeing the life return to his eyes hidden behind the hard covers of books long lost. However childish the classic picture book was, you didn’t care and neither did he; just as you wanted to return the childhood he should have had, Armin wished to experience that which was unknown to him as a child.  
   
 The next school day brought an excited Armin to the absurd world of _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_. It had been so long since he had laid his eyes upon the words of Roald Dahl. In fact, he actually never finished reading the imaginative, yet oddly disturbing, novel. Nostalgia seeped into his veins as he flipped to the very spot he left off on. Upon discovering a thinly veiled quote at the bottom margin, Armin blinked in awe. **There are no strangers in here, just friends you haven’t met yet – Roald Dahl**. He stifled a chuckle. Somehow, by your choice in quotes and deep sense of observation, he had gotten to know the real you without even uttering a word to you these past few days. He could detect your earnestness in every stroke of your pen. But knowing what the next and final book would be, Armin sincerely wondered just what you would do.  
   
However, Armin ended up in front of his desk devoid of anything but a few specks of dust. You were nowhere in sight either. As time passed and more classes went on without you, the blond grew worried. His mind never let go of the thought of you since that morning. It’s not like he wanted to daydream about you; he just did. It was out of his control. He would play scenarios in his head and run imaginary, yet plausible, dialogues between the two of you. It really was out of his control.  
   
You, meanwhile, had accidentally overslept and, instead of going to school, busied yourself with a featured note in the last novel that you were to give your victim. You struggled to concentrate, as your mind would constantly reel back to Armin and that delighted twinkle in his eye. Humming out a sigh with eyes glazed, you’d spend more time than necessary lost in thought about the kid. Sure, he was still a little physically weak, but Armin had that innocent charm that you found so endearing. All of a sudden, you found yourself imagining what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. Smiling and laughing to yourself, you dismissed the bizarre idea; surely you’d be the one wearing the pants in the relationship. You could just see yourself, a knight in shining armor, rescuing Armin, the damsel in distress, from drowning in a sea of advantageous bullies. But somehow that didn’t seem too far-fetched.  
   
It was then when you remembered that you had to be caught up with all that history by tomorrow. Slamming your head on your desk in frustration, you pouted. There was no way you’d learn all that stuff by tomorrow; you still had another 200 years to cover in history!  
   
“Guess I’ll go somewhere to get in the history mood,” you muttered dejectedly. Slumping off your seat, you took Armin’s history notes and the book (you still needed to finish your note) and headed to the café where you usually studied.  
   
Taking a seat at the table that practically had your name carved into it from the sheer number of times you sat there, you pulled out the book to finish your little note before quickly turning to your history notes. A few moments in, you were fed up with reading those stupid notes, so you decided to find solace in _Great Expectations_. That was when you heard some girls whispering at the table behind you. Curious, you turned to the gossiping girls whom you recognized as fellow classmates. Seeing their glares and hearing their snide remarks, your gaze narrowed…especially since you were familiar with one of them in particular.  
   
Mikasa opened the door to the café for Eren and Armin. The three of them had made a plan to get some drinks before studying together at Eren’s house. The bombastic brunette was going off about how he was so close to getting first place in some MMO game, but he ended up losing (miserably) to some kid in Japan.  
   
“I mean, what the hell, man?” Eren scowled, reliving the moment as he entered the café. “He used a freaking sword against my awesome gun. Just who does this ‘Kirito’ think he is anyway?! He must be some arrogant bastard…I’ll beat him next time! I swear, I was feeling off that day. Must be from Mom’s cooking…”  
   
“Eren, do you need help?” Mikasa asked, wanting to be of some use to him. If anything, she could beat the living crap out of Eren’s enemy.  
   
Said boy clucked his tongue. “No, Mikasa, I can do it on my own! This time, you’re not going to have to go in and save me!”  
   
Armin was about to restore peace to the group, but his attention was brought to some feminine voices. Looking in their direction, he saw a few girls crowding around the familiar table.  
   
“So is it true you bully that blond nerd, [Name]?” He overheard a high-pitched voice.  
   
The mention of your name piqued his interest. He felt nothing but relief that you weren’t sick or in an accident (never mind his disappointment that you ditched school).  
   
“That ‘blond nerd’ has a name, you know,” you said, your tone irritated and monotonous.  
   
“So you do pick on him?” The girls were clearly in it to quench their thirst for gossip. They couldn’t care less about you or Armin.  
   
“I _used_ to,” Armin heard you clarify, “I don’t anymore.”  
   
“Awww, really?” One girl pouted.  
   
“Why the change of heart?” another sniggered, twirling a wavy lock of her light brown bob around an index finger.  
   
“What’s it to you, Hitch?” you hissed.  
   
Armin’s memory jogged, and the image of a manipulative kindergarten girl named Hitch returned to him. He remembered that Hitch often tagged along with your antics against him for the thrill. As far as he recalled, you and Hitch were best friends in kindergarten.  
   
“You know this girl, Hitch?” The girl to the right crossed her arms.  
   
Hitch smirked, her tone sinister. “Oh I know her all right. I know her _real_ well.”  
   
The blond witness could hear you protest as Hitch snatched something from your hands.  
   
“Hey! Give that back!” Your hands balled into fists.  
   
“What’s this?” Hitch analyzed the novel in her possession. “ _Great Expectations_? So you read now?”  
   
“Just give it back.”  
   
Sensing your seriousness, Hitch frowned. “What’s gotten into you? You always have your face stuck in a book, and you’re actually being nice to Armin. And you’re trying to get good grades now. You know, when you transferred to our class, I thought things would get interesting again and that we would be the team we were back when we were kids. Give Armin a hard time again. You know, fun stuff.” She scoffed. “But instead, you’re this boring, ordinary girl. I see you leaving books for him on his desk every morning. Don’t think I don’t remember which books you tore up back then. I’m surprised you even remembered the order. But do you really think that going through all that trouble will get you in the clear after what you did to him?”  
   
You said nothing, only glaring.  
   
“Oh,” she cooed, “don’t tell me you have a crush on our little Armin!”  
   
“Ew, gross! Who’d want to even kiss that kid?” Hitch’s friend gagged.  
   
“I know! He looks like a girl!” the other friend agreed.  
   
“He’s pretty scrawny, too.”  
   
“Who likes geeks?”  
   
By the time they reached this point in the conversation, Eren and Mikasa had been listening in. The voices were stewing up some side comments from other bystanders and regulars. Eren and Mikasa were about to intervene, seeing Armin’s downcast stature. But someone else beat them to it.  
   
“So what if I like him?”  
   
 Armin’s head rose to the sound of your strong voice. The girls were blocking his view of you, but he could just imagine your carefree expression.  
   
“You’re all just jealous that he’s brilliant and looks prettier than you ugly hags,” you said, as if it were a statement of fact.  
   
The girls were left aghast, not knowing what to say.  
   
“He’s got nice skin, beautiful eyes, soft hair that’s naturally straight and perfect, a big brain, and a fragile heart. He’s also got a larger vocabulary than anyone else I know. Let’s face it; he’s way better than any of you bitches are,” you continued, “Hell, he’s even better than I am. I’m a pretty shitty person; I’ve messed him up pretty bad, and, yeah, I don’t even deserve him. He’s a wonderful person, he’s a great guy, and he deserves only the best from the world. You can make fun of me all you want.”  
   
You stood and grabbed Hitch by the collar of her ironed uniform, pulling her face dangerously close to yours.  
   
“But if you even think of picking on him or talking shit about him or even _looking_ at him,” you threatened, “I will make your life a living hell, you piece of shit. You can count on that.”  
   
Letting go of her collar, you sat back down. You didn’t know, however, that Armin was right there, stunned yet somehow pleased with everything you said. Eren and Mikasa were speechless.  
   
Hitch, sweating out of embarrassment, sneered. “Oh please, you’re only being brave because you were bullied throughout elementary and middle school. Isn’t it humiliating getting bullied so badly that you snapped and sent a kid to the ER? Don’t you feel embarrassed that that’s why you had to transfer to our school?”  
   
You had no words for her.  
   
Armin’s eyebrows furrowed; this was the first he heard of your being bullied. And then the pieces came together in his mind.  
   
“You reap what you sow, [Name]. You gave Armin all that trouble, and your punishment was much worse!” She laughed aloud. “I remember the look on your face each time you’d get cornered and dragged into the girls’ bathroom. Oh, yeah… didn’t they force you to drink from the toilet bowl? Or wait, maybe they roughed you up a bit and spread some nasty rumors about you. Like how you’re a total floosy and love S &M stuff; I mean, you must be a masochist to endure all of that stuff at school. And isn’t that how you were forced to transfer? Because you beat up a kid who was feelin’ you up and wanted some of that S&M action from you.”  
   
You clutched the sides of your skirt and bit your tongue. This time you vowed not to get carried away, even though you wanted to beat the life out of her.  
   
“What’s the matter, [Name]?” It was Hitch’s turn to grab her opponent’s collar. Smugly, she said, “Maybe it’ll do you some good to relive those days. I can help with that. Teach you a lesson, you know?”  
   
“Hey,” a voice called out from behind Hitch. “Get your hands off of her.”  
   
Hitch turned around, releasing you from her trap. Peeking over her shoulder, you cried out in surprise.  
   
“Armin?” You blinked, struggling to comprehend.  
   
Hitch’s face lit up with delight. “Oh, well look who it is! It’s your boyfriend, [Name].” She walked towards Armin. “You know, this girl is obsessed with you. But if you’re ever feeling a little tight down there, she could help ya loosen up. Maybe you’ll even get a discount.”  
   
“Get lost, Hitch,” he said, glaring and unfazed.  
   
Hitch cackled in amusement. “Wow! Baby Armin is all grown up now. Bet you think you’re a hero, huh?”  
   
“I said, ‘Get lost.’” You could see that Armin was uncomfortable in the situation, yet he still held his ground, as if he were an animal protecting his home.  
   
“Or what?” she tested.  
   
Armin didn’t answer that. He had no need to. Hitch looked up at the looming shadow coming from behind Armin. Mikasa stood there, daggers in her dark eyes. Hitch cowered in fear. She was sure this Asian girl wouldn’t hesitate to murder her if necessary.  
   
“Tch,” Hitch scowled, “Fine, I’ll humor you this time. Come on, girls.”  
   
Hitch and her posse scampered out of the café, leaving nothing standing between you and Armin.  
   
“Yeah! I was giving them a dirty look, and it worked!” Eren beamed. However, everyone else knew what the real cause of their leaving was.  
   
You paled at the sight of Armin, who was coming closer to you.  
   
“H-How long were you standing there?” you panicked. Had he heard your shameless confession?!  
   
“From the beginning,” he replied.  
   
_SHIT._  
   
“Oh…” you awkwardly fiddled with your thumbs, avoiding his gaze. “S-So, you heard…”  
   
“Yeah,” you heard him say, “But…” He picked up the _Great Expectations_ book that was on the floor and handed it to you.  
   
“I was happy…when you said those things about me.” Armin looked away shyly.  
   
In the background, Mikasa dragged Eren away.  
   
“I finished _Great Expectations_. In the end, Estella turned out to be a pretty good person," he said. "I like your copy of the book, too. It’s a lot nicer than mine."  
   
You grinned, excited to tell him about the bookstore you had gone to. “Oh! I got it at an antique bookstore a couple blocks down. It’s where I got all those books.”  
   
“Right,” he smiled softly, “Thanks for all those books. Those little messages were nice too. I found myself looking forward to them.”  
   
Pulling out the final book from your bag, you placed it in his hands. Armin’s eyes gleamed with bliss and nostalgia, as he took in the cover.  
   
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the exact copy of _The Hobbit_ that you had before,” you apologized, slumping back into her chair. “I know how much you treasured it.”  
   
Armin shook his head. “It’s fine.”  
   
He took a seat across from her, resting his chin on the heart of his palm, an elbow propped up on the surface. He looked into your [e/c] eyes.  
   
“Because I think I found something I treasure more.”  
   
You froze. All of a sudden your face turned tomato red. You could hardly utter a syllable.  
   
“So, you need help studying history?” he asked.  
   
All you could do was nod.  
   
“If you learn this material quickly, we could even go to that bookstore afterwards.”  
   
Cue the nod.  
   
“Is everything okay?” he asked, frowning at your lack of sass.  
   
Nod.  
   
You were still shaken up and a bit frazzled from his subtle confession. Armin could see that nothing was processing in your brain at the moment. That was probably his fault. So he thought of a way to revive you.  
   
An idea popped into his head. He was sure it would work, but just the thought of it made his head spin, heart race, and cheeks flush. But, well, he wasn’t so sure anything else would suffice. He leaned forward.  
   
Before you knew it, you felt something soft innocently peck your chaste lips.  
   
Your eyes widened in realization, glowering at the blushing Armin sitting before you.  
   
“Hey! Don’t take advantage of me! That was my first kiss!” you pouted, your face still roseate. “Now who’s the bully?”  
   
Armin felt a book hit the top of his head, resounding with a thud. He flinched and massaged the spot. He looked up to see you laughing heartily in your seat. You had returned to normal, and he knew there were more taunts and teases to come. But he was looking forward to them.  
   
Armin smiled at the thought of starting over – no, _moving on_ – with you. In that smile, you saw forgiveness…and something more.

**And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many – J.R.R. Tolkien**


End file.
